For years, I attached my identity to my career success and
used it to evaluate my own self-worth.
When the career was on the upswing, I felt self-assured and
positive. The minute the career came to
a standstill, or worse, took a downturn, my confidence level plummeted too.
Looking back, I attribute this insecurity to my experience
growing up on our farm. As the eldest girl in a gaggle of seven siblings, I felt as if
far greater responsibility was placed on my shoulders than any of my brothers
and sisters.
I remember hitting that
awkward teenage phase. Suddenly, none of
my clothing fit properly, my limbs were gangly and I was tripping over my own
feet.
To add insult to injury, I dreaded when my mother would resort
to reaching into her own closet for something I could wear on a special
occasion because we just didn’t have extra money with such a large family. Styles that trended twenty years earlier made
great fodder for the bullies at school and did nothing to boost my confidence
level.
I looked ridiculous. I
felt ridiculous.
Finally surviving school and entering the work force, I was
determined to win over my colleagues with my indomitable spirit and unrivalled
work ethic. That was something I could
bank on.
The resulting pressure to make a good impression drained countless
overtime hours from my life, compelled me to dress for success, which had a
tendency to break the bank and left me feeling awkward about my social
skills.
When some of my public speaking engagements required that I
actually public speak, I must admit…I was terrified.
I feared making the usual blunders one could make during a
speech; forgetting the name of the person who introduced me, stuttering through
the delivery, losing my train of thought.
Did I get all of the greens from the salad out of my teeth? Are my buttons done up properly?
Endless worry.
Not to mention the crippling physical symptoms: dry mouth, knee’s knocking so badly I’d grab
the podium to stop shaking or feeling my voice growing hoarse. I just knew I needed to cough.
So what did I do instead?
Continued speaking, of course…until my voice croaked like a
frog and when I finally did reach for a relieving sip of water, choked it down.
More mortification.
And then the little voice fires up in the ear: “WHAT were you thinking??? You are NEVER doing this again! See, I told you…you couldn’t do it! You stink!”
And all of the sudden…I’m fourteen again. Zero self-esteem. Always worried about what other people are
thinking of me.
Thankfully, with age comes wisdom.
Over the years, I’ve learnt to silence the negative ninny
voice talking me out of living my life.
I’ve also learnt that we only have 7 seconds to make that first
impression. And it’s important to make a
good one too because we only get one chance at it.
Here are my tips for you to ensure your first impression is a positive one:
1. Set a Goal to Make a Good Impression
Before a big event where you’ll be meeting
many people or stepping onto a stage to address an audience, give yourself a
little pep-talk, preferably in the mirror.
On your way over, think about the people you’ll be meeting and
consider the questions they’ll ask and how you’ll respond.
- Anticipate and prepare
- Speak out loud so you’ll hear the cadence and flow of your answers
- Focus your energy
I know it seems silly, but having an
intention to make a good impression is an important first step. You are being conscious about how you’re
coming across.
2. Consider Appearance and Accessories
Clothing, jewellery, make-up, your watch,
shoes and handbag... your hair style, even.
Unfortunately, people do judge the book by the cover when it
comes to meeting new ones. Plan out your entire outfit ahead of the big event
and even ask for a second opinion from a trusted friend who has an eye for
style and colour…and who’ll be honest about how you look.
Be sure your accessories are sending the
message you want to convey.
This rule is timeless:
Classic Fashion. Not passing
fad.
And this one too:
Conservative jewellery.
Once it’s set, forget.
Every time you fidget with your hair or your earrings, your nervousness
shows. Think easy, breezy, beautiful.
3. Body Language Sends A Powerful Message
Your body language forms a critical part of
first impressions.
How you carry
yourself, shake hands, make eye contact, your posture, the angle of your body,
the tilt of your head, how you cross your legs, are you smiling, crossing your
arms…all of it says something about your confidence level and anyone can read
it loud and clear.
Simply being aware of
your body language is an excellent first step.
Watching yourself on video will help too.
4. Be Genuinely Interested
If you’re truly keen on meeting new people,
learning about who they are and once you’ve begun to get to know them a little,
THEN determine if you have a solution for them…with the intention of helping
them, they’ll pick up on your authenticity and naturally gravitate to you.
5. Put YOUR Best Face Forward
Our complexion tells a story.
It’s tough to feel confident when our face is
blotchy or full of blemishes from stress, not enough sleep, lack of hydration
or just not giving it the tender loving care it deserves.
It wasn't until I was in my thirties when I started to take care of my skin.
I’d jump right back to fourteen with every
blemish or new fine line that showed up until I found Rodan & Fields ~ the world leader in quality skin
care systems designed to Redefine for fine lines and wrinkles, Unblemish
for Adult Acne, Reverse for sun damage and Soothe for Sensitive Skin.
When your skin is radiant, it’s easy to feel radiant.
Contact me today to get started with a skin care regime that is right for you. facebook.com/RFJacquelineCrawford
